Oh! And at restaurants, “How is everything TASTING?” is the worst. First of all, the food isn’t tasting, I am. Secondly, unlike “is there anything else I can get for you?” it doesn’t leave much opening to request more napkins or a clean fork. I have been known to say “It tastes like I need my water refilled” to get around it.

Another restaurant party foul is “Enjoy!” as the entrees are set down with a flourish. At fine dining establishments, “Enjoy!” is said when delivering gratis delicacies from the kitchen. It means “This item is on the house!” Yet it’s deployed constantly at low-end establishments where nothing is ever free.

Oof, your excellent article has pulled my string.