Every passenger who reclines their seat in any section other than first class (I guess—no experience up there, fabulously well-to-do flyers please weigh in!) deserves to be ground to a pulp in a jet engine. I once had a selfish &@“:;?#% slam her seat backward just as I was following pre-flight instructions to tuck my bag under the seat. She wrenched my neck so badly that I cried (something I don’t do publicly) and had to get physical therapy for weeks afterward.

Another time I was in an aisle seat when the woman to be seated next to me crawled across my lap to get there rather than give me a hot second to stand up and let her pass. I was still stunned by this grotesque violation of all that is civilized when her adult son did the same to me. How, I ask, does that not qualify as assault?

The requirement that I fly certain places as part of my job was a factor in my decision to retire early.