Before deciding a friend is “fake” because you don’t know their problems, stop and ask yourself these questions:

When initiating a conversation, do you ask how they are and listen to find out before launching into a dissertation about your own problems?

Do you shut up long enough to let them share?

When they’ve tried to share, did you quickly shut them down by flipping the subject back to yourself?

Do you immediately top their concerns with a story of how you—or maybe your neighbor’s cousin’s ex’s coworker—faced something similar but, in your eyes, even worse?

Do your initial responses often start with “At least…” or “Consider yourself lucky…” or “Look at the bright side” or “You should…”?

Do you skip empathy and jump to prescribing solutions?

Do you interrupt, talk over, or raise your voice and talk faster when your friend starts to speak?

Friends can’t share their issues unless they’re given a chance. Some of us are too polite to interrupt the non-stop talkers, especially those with an ingrained habit of never listening anyway.